we're chasing vodka with high fives
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
