Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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