if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
