batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
