Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
