I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just gift wrapped bread.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
