maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
These tits shall not be calmed
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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