I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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