the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
