I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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