What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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