Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize