matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
