I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
