just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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