Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
