five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize