Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
