I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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