I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
