How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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