I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
