How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
