11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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