How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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