i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
