Midget sex pt 2 tonight
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
