yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
