You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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