you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
