Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize