Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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