Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
