CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
