Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
