Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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