did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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