why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
