she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize