you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
