wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
