the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Randomize
