on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
