The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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