I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
