piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
