hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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