She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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