we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize