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• (916): View more from California

  Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice

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• (904): View more from Florida

  i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks

  (1403): View more from

  That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now

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• (941): View more from Florida

  & I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.

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