and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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