Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
