we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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