One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what day is it and did you see me today?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Randomize
