My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
