it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
