the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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