I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize