And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
