Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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