im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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