my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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